to subdue nations before him
and to strip kings of their armor,
to open doors before him
so that gates will not be shut:
and will level the mountains;
I will break down gates of bronze
and cut through bars of iron.
so that you may know that I am the LORD,
the God of Israel, who summons you by name.
As the new year approaches, my house is clean, and I am seriously nesting waiting for the call about Joseph and Daisy, so I thought I would do a post on just the basics of adoption ... I mean if you are on the fence about adoption, foster care, or anything related to orphans perhaps you are just waiting on some clear simple information ... Maybe you just need someone to talk to or ask questions to ... Or just maybe this will be the first time God sparks your heart ... I want to be a vessel here ... What I am about to type is my family's personal experience ... My personal advice ... My heart's words !!!!
1. Basic questions ... What type of child is God calling you to (age, gender, race, domestic or international), Ransom to bring a child home (anywhere from $10,000 - $40,00), what is the right agency for us (Bethany Christian has a good China program, Gladney has good international programs, AGCI has a fab Ethiopia program, and there are many amazing domestic agencies both big and small to consider) ... try to steer clear of small agencies for international use that require lots of fees upfront, how long will we wait (hard to say, but waiting is just part of the blessing ), or how do we tell our families (If God calls you to adopt then who cares what friends and extended family think) ...
2. Emotional Journey ... This will be one of the most emotional and spiritual journeys of your life ... You will feel amazing highs and severe lows ... This is all a part of the road that will take you to your child ... Some of the best advice I can give you is that you SHOULD PREPARE YOUR FAMILY/YOURSELF FOR YOUR CHILD, NOT TRY TO FIT THEM INTO YOUR LIFE ... Fall deeply in love with them now even before you see their picture ... Begin to put yourself in your child's place ... Attempt to feel what they have felt no matter their age ... Abandonment, hunger, loneliness, loss of culture, loss of birth parents, possible loss of language, and loss of all that is familiar ... If you bring home an infant don't assume that one day they may not still have some of these feelings ... Now don't get me wrong, I fully believe in complete restoration for a child ... I teach all my children that God had them picked out before the beginning of time to be an Oatsvall ... He brought them to us in different ways, but this was always their path to us ... We will always honor our birth parents, pray for them, and remember them ... But at the end of the day THEY ARE MY CHILDREN ... I want them to feel secure in their place in THEIR family ... I would go to the ends of the earth to protect them, stand up for them, and would die for them if that was the price ...
3. Are you willing to accept change ... Your life will change as it does anytime you add another person to your family ... There will be less time, less energy, less funds, and less of everything, but there WILL BE ABUNDANT NEW BLESSINGS ... This is an amazing way to change the legacy you leave ... I have seen this change with each one of my children ... I have seen them look at people from other countries, w/ other colorS of skin and see no differences ... They just see another person created by God ... Another person to appreciate, another person to get to know, another person to learn a lesson from ... IT IS A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE ...
4. Have a voice ... When people start to ask questions, use the opportunity to SPEAK UP FOR THOSE WITH NO VOICE, WHO STILL REMAIN ORPHANS ... I don't begrudge people who adopt then come home and want to just be a quiet family and go on about their life, but that is not me ... I want to always advocate for adoptions, bring awareness and get people involved in caring for an orphan and SHINE THE BIGGEST LIGHT I can on an orphan's face so that no one can ever pretend they don't SEE THEM ...
5. Stay in the word ... God will have amazing treasures for you on this journey ... He will teach you things you never dreamed of and He will show you things about yourself you never knew ... He will show Himself to be exactly, who He has always been and always will be ... HE WILL AMAZE YOU AND WILL SHOWER YOU WITH HIS TRUTHS AND PROMISES ...
6. Find someone to walk this journey w/ you ... You and your husband will need a friend to journey with ... Make sure this person is on the same page with you, is walking closely with the Lord, and will love your new family with their whole heart ...
7. Special Needs Angels ... Many people ask me "how do you know if you should apply for a special needs child or not" ... Honestly, I can't answer that question for you ... Search deep in your heart and ask the Lord to point you to your child no matter where they are or what need they may have ... I can tell you that we learned more about the Lord and more about each other by bringing Maggie home ... She is our HOPE and has brought us more than we could have ever dreamed ...
Just had to empty my head and heart in this post tonight because I have had a feeling for the last couple of days that someone is reading my blog that just needed a little truth and encouragement to take this next step ... AM I TALKING TO YOU ???
I will start by thanking our friends and family for all their prayers !!!! We seriously have some prayer warriors in our life ... A special thanks to our FRA family for their calls, food, and sweet gifts for Elijah ... He is truly enjoying the special attention !!! This is our second year at FRA and the way this community has embraced our family, our calling to adopt, and just our mission to bring light into the darkness of the orphan crisis has been beyond a blessing ... WE APPRECIATE YOU !!!! I came to realize after bringing Maggie home that we could not journey this path that God had us on alone ... Whether it is financial donations to our adoption, people praying and checking in on us, meals, or just that hug that lets you know you are not alone ... It is all so important and truly helps us to all see God's miracle in the journey ...
As I sit down to write this my eyes are so heavy that I think I could sleep for at least a day and never budge ... To say that the last few days have been packed, emotional, and stressful are an understatement ... I will start with Elijah's accident on Friday ... You know there are moments as a mother when you just know something is wrong ... I walked into the gym a little late to Scott's game and I saw Elijah sitting (red flag #1) and just staring at the court ... I waved at him and sat down on the bottom row and he comes down to sit by me and begins to cry because he has hit his head ... I begin to ask him about his party at school today and he can't remember having a party (red flag #2) ... I am getting a little worried and then a sweet friend's mom comes down and explains what has happened and off to Vanderbilt ER we go !!! I am telling you that as Elijah sat in the seat next me in the car and I was talking to keep him awake my stomach was folding into knots ... I was praying hard !!! We walk in and thankfully there was a doctor in the back room and heard the story I was telling the admin person and he came right out and admitted us and away to the CT scan we went ... I truly expected the doctor to come back and say, "Your son has a concussion and you need to wake him every 3 hrs tonight," but that was not his words at all ... The doctor walks in and says, "He has a hair line fracture in his skull and we detect a bleed, so we are going to admit you into ICU and watch him over the next couple of days and do another scan in 8 hours." I was saying in my mind, hold on wait a minute ... This is my healthy hard headed child ... I have a sweet angel daughter who actually is missing part of her skull, she is my at risk for injury child, CAN YOU REPEAT WHAT YOU JUST SAID ???? My mind was whirling ... We were admitted and they began drawing blood, running an IV and waking him every hour ... I just sat there and thought in my simple mind how thankful I was that Maggie had not had surgery two days before or I wouldn't have come the basketball game and I wouldn't have noticed how injured Elijah was ... I would have had two children at Vandy Hospital at the same time ... God knows my limitations ....
I would ask that you lift sweet Josie Love up also as she is sick with pneumonia ... They were at Vandy with her much of Friday and when I called Suzanne at 5:30, she said, "I am finally leaving Vandy" and I said, "I am heading to Vandy." We did have to chuckle because we had a very busy 147 week. We had an event, trying to help fill orders for Christmas, and get everything ready to head to distribution ... These two mamas were tuckered out, but I guess that is when God just kicks us in a little more grace ...
You see I am a glass 1/2 full kind of girl ... I said thank you Lord my child isn't on a ventilator (like the child in room next to us), thank you for Anna, who left her school's basketball game and stayed w/ the kids while Scott and I were at the hospital, thank you for Nana, who has stayed 3 days with us to just help me keep Elijah still (no easy task let me tell you), and for those who just love on us !!!
We are truly thankful for all God has blessed us with this Christmas season ... There is only one thing missing ????? !!!!!!!!! Come on God and let that call come from Uganda ~~~~
